Tragic Recap

I haven't written in a while, so here is the tragic recap:

Non's breast cancer metastasized to her brain and after a month of being completely out of it waiting, she eventually passed in her sleep in a nursing home bed. She is being cremated and her ashes will be spread on Dauphin Island in a few weeks when we can manage to get our shit together.

My other grandmother out of state who I talk to a couple times a month had a possible heart attack and had to have 2 stints I didn't know she had replaced. (I found out all of this a few days later. My out of state relatives suck at relaying news.) She then started vomiting green stuff and they thought her gallbladder was freaking out on her but then she stopped and they pretended it never happened. She will have another 2 stints in about a week and then hopefully be ok.

My dad. My dad has been a perpetual smoker of both cigarettes and glaucoma medication for my entire life and it seems to be catching up to him. He has a warp in a valve of his heart. That's bad, but apparently not the reason that his resting heart rate is about 3x what it's supposed to be. He also has pneumonia and had a fever of 107, which my knowledge of House tells me should have cooked his brain quite utterly. Still he managed to call me at work today and make me bawl my eyes out like a ninny. No one has the sense to update me on his condition either, so I'm getting all of my info from his poor gasping ass. Or lungs. Whatever.

Mom is dealing with Non's death fairly well considering she just lost her mother.

Middle Sister is dealing very well with everything going on. Her stalker is in juvie, so I guess that's helping.

Baby Sister seems to understand and be cool with Non being in heaven. She might just be psyched to have inherited a working cell phone at 4 years old though. BTW, she totally understands speed dial. I'm in for a lot of calls.

My dog, Remy, was abducted by the sometimes loathed County Animal Shelter as well as Middle Sister's dog. I had to borrow $160 from Mom to get them out of the pokey. (OMG I just figured out why they call it the pokey. Eww...) This made me realize that once again, I never have any savings when I need it. Got to work on that. Now we have to build a fence on the property. It's $1695 btw. Yeah, looking forward to that bill. Thank sweet baby Jebus for income tax.

My aunt wants me to perpitrate tax fraud with her. I must say I was tempted to do it for the $4000 or so it would net me, but it feels wrong and with the luck my family has right now I'm thinking it'll probably come back to take a chunk out of my ass.

And I am a broke mess who desperately needs a vacation and a few health potions or whatever to dispense. And maybe a full body scan. Getting kind of paranoid about my health at this point. After all, everything will kill you.