Usually I'm pretty stingy about buying myself things but last week I realized that I'd been pining for this perfume called Prada Candy for about 6 months so I finally broke down and bought it. And now, I SMELL SEXY YA'LL!!! I can't stop smelling myself and I'm at work and it's starting to get a little weird. I've managed to refrain so far from sniffing my wrists in front of the ladies but I'm doing this creepy deep breathing thing and I've only just managed to restrain myself from sicking my wrist in Tangie's face and yelling, "SNIFF ME!"
I'm sure that sort of behavior would be frowned upon. People love to complain via letters in my office. I can just imagine the notes slipped under my boss's door.
Chief Johnny,
I am writing to inform you that Sarah has been harassing me in the workplace and that this office has lately become a hostile work environment. (People love that phrase.) She has been breathing very loudly and yesterday she made me smell her. She smelled fantastic, but still. (It's true.) This is completely unsuitable for the workplace and I would like you to have a talk with her. Please keep my name out of it as I would hate for her to retaliate against me. (I'm too nice to do that. For reals.)
-Terrified Coworker (It'll be ok.)
-Sarah
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