I don't mean to go all serious on my audience of nobody, but I'm having a bad day. If someone should somehow stumble upon this blog while looking for porn, please know that the porn is at the bottom.
I've been at the hospital for almost 8 hours now while my Non (grandma) is in some dark and mysterious room having her boobs stabbed I can only presume. (That could be construed as a bit pornish if you're into freaky grandma hating stuff.)
If I was the one in the hospital, I think it would be better, because I'm an optimist and I have the ability to make anyone worried about me go bat-shit crazy with my attitude of complete disregard for any problems I'm having.
Non is the one in the OR though so she's freaking out about cancer boobs and I'm stuck up here trying not to cry because everyone knows that if I'm freaked out, it's bad.
The cancer's not that bad and she just had a lumpectomy a few hours ago but since then they found cancer in her lymph nodes and had to take out the rest of them and I'm not going to know if she's got cancer elsewhere until god knows when the lab sends back the report and now the doctor has given me the job of telling her about it since she was passed out before and if I act nonchalant it will sound like I don't care but if I'm sad with her then she'll break down and I have to see her in a few minutes and I don't know what to do!
I'm tired and I'm not thinking right and I'm afraid I'll do the Robin Hood Men In Tights thing and laugh in appropriately while relaying bad news and have her go what the hell are you laughing about.
Ugh. Ok, there's no porn. I know, I suck. Just not in a good way.
-Sarah
Update: I went in there and I was a total badass and didn't look sad at all and made it sound positive and I was really uncomfortable the whole time. Then I broke down in my car because I wanted to talk to my dad and I remembered that we aren't speaking to each other and that made me even more depressed.
Update Again: When I got home I found out that Mom was taking my 3 year old sister to the ER because she's been having problems pooping and abdominal pain and my friend Lynda wants me to get her and her new baby from the hospital tomorrow. Too many hospitals...
Another Update: Lynda's having her husband take her and the baby home so that's one down and my sister came home last night with a diagnosis of too much poo in her intestines, enema and laxatives recommended, so that won't be fun but that's two down. I haven't been able to reach Non but she's probably asleep. I'll get her later.
No comments:
Post a Comment