Gas Can Walk of Shame

I make my own problems sometimes. Yesterday when I was leaving for work I ran out of gas in my parking spot. Apparently I had just enough gas to get home, but not enough to leave again.

So I called my supervisor and told her I had car problems ("Don't you have a new car?") and went looking for a ride to the gas station. Neither of my neighbors would answer the door, but I found a gas can by the lawn mower in my landlord's backyard.

It was empty. Of course. But I had a gas can, damn it, so I started hoofing it the half mile to the gas station. As I walked there was a bit of a thought train going on.

(Going downhill.)
Wow, it feels nice out here! Why don't I go walking more often?

(Several cars pass.)
Damn, I'm in my fire department uniform. This is embarrassing.

(Another car.)
These people are going to think the fire department's poor. Hell, we are poor. Maybe they'll approve more funding. I've just increased the budget. Good job, Sarah.

(Half way there and a few more cars pass.)
Why haven't any of these assholes stopped to offer me a ride yet? Like, 5 cars have passed. What the hell? Do I look like a murder or something?

(At the station. Put the gas can by the pump and go in to pay.)
Ugh, this place is filthy. And that cashier's such a creeper. Why is he always on the phone? Who the hell is he talking to at 6AM? And why can't he be bothered to stop his conversation to ring me up? I know you're speaking Hindi, and I can't understand it, but that's rude. Walla-Walla-Ding-Dong to you too.

(At the pump.)
For the love of god don't get gas on your only clean uniform!!!

($5 Later.)
Seriously??? Where the hell is my gas??? I know this isn't $5 in gas.

(Walking back.)
This is the lightest gas can ever. I just got ripped off.

(Guy stops to offer me a ride.)
Freaking finally! I'm not getting in the car with this guy but at least somebody offered! I was developing a complex.

(Two more guys offer.)
Ok this guy's less creepy but I don't get in the car with strangers. Never let them take you to a secondary location. Even if you are tired.

(Walking uphill.)
Creeper guy! Come back! I'm so tired! And I'm getting sweat on my uniform! This is the heaviest gas can ever! My arm's going to fall off! Help!

(At the car.)
I know, car. It's all my fault. I did you wrong and I'm sorry.

(Filling car.)
Why does it take so long to pour this in here? It's so much faster at the pump. Is it pressurized or something?

(Returning gas can.)
If she comes out of the house and says anything now I'm just going to scream "Where were you when I needed you?!"

-Sarah